. :: THE DEATH OF PARENTING ::

 I swear if I hear the commercial on the radio for the "Total Transformation" child behavior modification program just one more time - I'm going to pull over & rip the stereo out of my own car!

 "I'll never forget the day my son Timmy screamed 'he hated me' and slammed the door in my face." Grrrr!! WRONG. *He* should never forget that day. Because it marked the first time he ever saw they inside of a proctologists office since he had to go in to have your size 8 removed.

 What has happened to parenting?? So many people now let their kids parent THEM. This wasn't the case 30 years ago. If I'd even *thought* "I hate you" loudly enough - my mom and/or dad would've straightened that out right quick! You don't have to like me, but you WILL respect me. So long as you're under this roof you'll live by MY rules. Period. And if you don't like them - you're more than welcomed to leave. Bye. And good luck out there.

 Lady, the problem isn't that your defiant teenager won't listen to you - the problem is you didn't set and enforce boundaries when the kid as 3; now, ten years later, you're reaping the harvest of your own seed planting! If you told your 2-year old to do or not do something; then when they violated your instruction you issued no correction -- why on earth do you think that when, as 17-year olds, you tell them to clean up their room or be home by 11:00 they're suddenly going to start listening to you and respecting your authority?

 We're of child-rearing years (ours are 17, 13, 9) & thus mostly have friends of child-rearing years; & I'm constantly blown away by how these people let their children routinely laugh at their authority. How they let obedience be completely optional.

 One of our sets of friends have two of the most spoiled rotten, disrespectful, mouthy teenaged kids you'll ever meet -- and its b/c, as infants, they couldn't stand to hear them cry. I tried to tell them. When those kids were babies someone was CONSTANTLY holding them. I noticed this. Then sure enough, the second they'd set them down the kid would start wailing, and so to stop the crying - they'd pick them up again. I told him about this on multiple occasions (we're cool like that). I said, "D., the problem here is that you guys can't stand to let the baby cry." My mom used to say - I've never once heard of a baby crying themselves to death. Check on them, if there's no trauma, pain or obvious source of discomfort...let 'em cry. Well, not this couple. When the baby cried their mission in life became getting it to stop. Well guess what - those kids are teenagers now & no one can stand them.

 Another friend had a boy (was about 5 at the time) whom I noticed one day *always* wore the same shirt. It was this Batman shirt & apparently the kid loved it. But it had been several MONTHS, and finally I asked, "How many of those does he have??" My friend replied, "Just one." [look on Derrick's face said, "Huh?"] Friend, "Its the only shirt he'll wear." Whaaaat??! Wadaya mean "its the only shirt he'll wear? He's 5!!! You do the laundry around here. Parent up. Tell him if you put that shirt on again tomorrow its going in the garbage. Then, when/if he comes out in the morning with it on - rip it right off his back, strike a match to it and let him know ...this is the price for disobedience in this house!" Didn't happen. And now that kid is Conner's age (about 17) and is a nightmare handful. They thought we were mean, not co-equals with our kids, etc., and our 17 year old is going to the Air Force Academy.

 These same people are now hearing a radio ad and spending their own money to buy somebody's DVD set to teach them how to manage their defiant kids. You are not your children's best friend (well, not until they're 20 anyway), and your home is a dictatorship not a democracy, backboneless fools, YOU created your own monsters!

1.